One day John woke up in the morning with a slight irritation. he has been adapting himself way too long. Today, I’m going to live fully autonomous, he thought. He wanted make every decision from within, fully intrinsic decisions. John didn’t want that his environment to have any influence on him. This would show that nothing could play with John and that John was a true individual identity living in the world that he controlled. John wanted to have power, to feel agency, to control, to manipulate.
John decided to stand up, fully autonomously. He looked at the floor and was a little bit let down already. John saw that he had no fully autonomy of where he was going to stand, the floor itself guided him already. He ignored that and looked at his door, this door guided him as well. John disliked that, so he refused to go through that door. The walls around his obstructed him to go to that direction but that made him wanting to go to that direction. John got angry. he grabbed a hammer that he fully controlled with his hands. He smiled while looking at his hammer. John felt truly powerful. He smashed through the wall and the bricks broke down one by one. Then, John felt that the wall was making him exhausted. Then it struck John, the wall controlled his energy. John hated that. So then, John stopped hammering (fully autonomy) when he was almost through. He looked at the hole and tried to climb through. This is truly what I want, he thought to himself. Through the hole, he entered the house of his neighbor, who was standing there with a lot of confusion. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked. John didn’t know what to do. Because with every answer he would loss his agency. With every response John wasn’t himself anymore. Even with non responding John was responding. John became so confused. John looked at his hammer and he screamed, he screamed. John screamed as loud as he could, with true raw power. John screamed so hard, you would never hear anywhere. John started to look very angry. he made fists with his hands, and tightened his muscles. His muscles across his body were so tightened that they almost ripped of. John wanted to control his physical body. His mind will crush physical body, he thought. He wanted to be God. John’s heart raised and his bones were crushed by the tension of his muscles. His muscles ripped off and John’s eyes started bleeding. John died. Fully autonomously. That’s what he wanted.