Peter and Wanda had a good relationship. But they didn’t have much money. However, they saved €500,- every year to get something they liked. Wanda wanted a horse. Peter wanted a new bike. So Wanda said to Peter; although your current bike is properly working and I think it can last for a few years, I do really understand you want a new bike. You haven’t had anything that was really cool and really yours in the past years, you don’t have any real hobbies expect biking. Furthermore, I do encourage the fact that you need to stand out a little from your colleague’s by having a new bike. This might make you a little more popular at work.
Peter was silent for a few seconds and said the following; “No Wanda, you deserve to have a horse. I know we don’t have a place for the horse yet, but we’ll figure it out. Because you need it so bad. I know that you feel like the kids are ruling your life. You want to go out some days without them or without me. Just with your horse, that will for sure feel like freedom, accompanied by a lovely horse. You should buy a horse from our money.”
Wanda wasn’t so sure about that. She had things besides the kids. She had her yoga class on Wednesday, her afternoon coffee with her friend Claire. She felt free, she could go for a walk if she wanted to. She didn’t need the horse that much. After all, it is quite difficult and expensive to take care of the horse.
This made Peter quite mad. The bike he wanted was just an ego-thing. He just wanted to stand out for his boss. And Peter wasn’t even sure that his boss would notice. His current bike was fine. And he didn’t agree with Wanda on cycling being his only hobby. He had many more hobbies like chess, but he didn’t need to buy a lot of stuff for that. Moreover, Peter thought it was quite sad if he needed a new bike just to make him more popular.
Wanda looked angry now. She looked Peter fiercely in his eyes and yelled: “I am fine with the kids controlling my life!”. She slammed the door and went outside for a walk. Peter just wanted Wanda to be happy, he was okay with not being popular at work, he couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to be happy.
Thoughts behind this story
Here I play with the thought of how ultimate adaptation to the other system could be. Like how 0 could want the thing that 1 wants, and at the same time, how 1 could want the thing that 0 wants. Making some sort of orbit around each other. Never happy, always adapting by forgetting the things you want yourself.